Ryohei's Thought Process Cannot Be Breached
by Prince-san
Summary: Nothin' special, but it's pretty funny. I spoofed Ryohei intensely in this, it's almost like a third installment to the “Ultimate Parody” series.
1. Goku Do Good?

**"Ryohei's Thought Process Cannot Be Breached" – Kiba Inubake

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You know it, I know it... Every person who even _knows_ about Ryohei knows it. His thought process is so advanced, normal un-extreme people can't even comprehend it.

By the way, this **is** a spoof, so please don't take this chapter and the next too seriously.

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**Chapter 1: "Goku Do Good?"**

Ryohei Sasagawa was taking a morning jog. Panting, he said to himself, "This is a good pace, but I need to go faster. Time for...extreme dashing!!" Ryohei took off like a bullet down the street.

Meanwhile, Hayato Gokudera was setting up an explosive trap. Concealed by leaves, a pitfall failed to be disclosed as it quietly hid underneath. At the bottom of the seemingly never-ending pit were dozens of dynamite sticks scattered around the base, which measured about ten feet in diameter.

"This is very extreme! But not as extreme as RAPID CHANTING!" Ryohei began to chant, "Kyokogen, kyokogen, kyokogen," and it…kind of just went on like that.

Ryohei had run so far, he was down by Tsuna's place. "Kyokogen, kyokog-AAH!"

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The Italian explosives expert had left to go inside Tsuna's house to bring him out, and when he came out he noticed someone had fallen into his trap. "Hey Boss, it worked! Mr. Nezu actually fell into it!"

"Wait, did you just say Mr. Nezu?" Tsuna asked, confused.

"Yeah, that teacher who tricked the principle!" Gokudera replied cheerfully. "I warned him he wouldn't get away with insulting Vongola X, remember? Now it's time for him to pay!"

"How do you know it's Mr. Nezu who's in there, though?" Tsuna questioned.

"I told him to come over anonymously, masking my voice," he explained in an evil tone.

"But that doesn't necessarily mean—"

"Ready? It's time to get back at the old asshole!" That said, Gokudera threw a lit cigar into the pit. "Stand back!" In an instant, the pit below erupted. The ground shook, smoke filled the vicinity, and most of all, Gokudera was happy. He looked at the boy whom he considered his savior and leader. "Goku do good?" he cutely asked.

Once the smoke cleared, they realized that the man they believed to be Mr. Nezu…was not the same old bastard. For behind them was just that man, squinting through his windshield, trying to see what was going on. And when Gokudera and Tsuna looked behind them…they realized they had murdered Kyoko Sasagawa's extreme brother.

No one ever found Ryohei Sasagawa. They believed him to have gone missing. But now, legends say that on a crisp Spring morning, you can still hear the chanting of "kyokogen" deep down inside the pit. **–End of Chapter!

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I love Ryohei too, but I needed him to die just this once. XD And knowing Ryohei...he probably didn't even die. He's most likely extremely digging his way out. Rate and review, please!


	2. The World According To Ryohei

**"Ryohei's Thought Process Cannot Be Breached" – Kiba Inubake**

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I love and loathe myself at the same time... Oh, Ryohei~

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**Chapter 2: "The World According To Ryohei"**

"Kyokogen!" You hear me say it all the time, but what does that word mean **to me**? Hi, I'm Ryohei Sasagawa. And today, I'm going to tell you what it's like to be **me**.

First, I'll extremely tell you how I start off my extreme mornings. I wake up at 4:00 AM, extremely crack a dozen eggs and drink the egg yolk, and then I go on an extreme jog for 3 extreme hours. I like to take an extreme jog in the woods sometimes. Occasionally, I see bears and I can't help but feel the urge to box extremely! In some cases where I can't contain my extreme emotions, I fight the bear right there and then. Some people call me extreme. Others call me extreme. What will you call me?

Once I've finished my extreme jog, I head down to the local gym. I then work out for 4 extreme hours. They have a boxing arena there too, so I'll extremely fight anyone who's also there. I go by the ring name "Ryohei of the Extreme Lion Punch". I usually win, thanks to my extreme left hook.

After I've spent 8 extreme hours exercising, I hit the showers. I shower so extremely, other people just can't seem to keep up, in terms of extremeness. And then once I've finished my extreme shower, I go out to eat an extreme lunch, mainly consisting of elephant, rhinoceros, and sautéed eggplant with mushrooms on top. The only thing _not_ extreme about this lunch, though, is the bill. ;D

To finish off an excellent first half of my extreme day, I like to wrestle a Mexican fighter bull. I wear red just to taunt them. **(A/N: I know color doesn't really affect a bull's rage, so don't tell me what I already know.)** Then I take a break and go to watch extreme boxing matches. Once I start to get hungry, I go home and cook myself boars' skin with creamy gravy and egg and tuna salad for dinner. It doesn't get any healthier than that!

By now, you're probably thinking, "Ryohei, you must be tired! Aren't you ever gonna stop?" Well, the answer is an extreme NO!! I can't let that happen! I must be vigilant! Perseverance is key to extreme victory~!! So what I do is, I beat on a punching bag in my garage for 20 extreme minutes without stopping, and then I do 300 extreme crunches. Why do you think my extreme body is as hard as a rock? Anyway, after that I take another break and watch more extreme boxing videos to learn new extreme tricks and techniques. Then I run over to the nearby boxing arena and test out the new extreme attacks I picked up.

Once I finish my boxing, I hit the showers again, and like I said earlier, my showers are very extreme. Extreme temperatures, extreme temperature _changes_, extremely short time…you get the idea (and hopefully, extremely). Then I head home for an extreme slumber…of 5 hours, before I wake up again to repeat the extreme process. Now you know what it's like…to be me! **–End of Extreme Story!

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Is anyone willing to count the number of times Ryohei said "extreme"? :D


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